\begin{tabular}{l} John Locke's Rights of Man Parody \\ \hline Parody is an imitation of the style of a particular writer, artist, or genre with \\ deliberate exaggeration for comic effect. Write a parody of John Locke's "Declaration \\ of the Rights of Man" for a selected audience. Come up with who your list of rights is \\ for and then come up with 10 rights that your declaration would make law. Think \\ about your audience and make sure your language choice matches John Locke's. \end{tabular}

# Declaration of the Inviolable Coffee Rights We, the devoted Coffee Connoisseurs, in the pursuit of caffeinated enlightenment, do hereby assert that we are endowed by nature and by the divine bean with immutable rights. Inspired by the venerable spirit of John Locke, we pronounce the following laws for the enjoyment and liberty of our most cherished brew: 1. **Right to Caffeine Administration** Every connoisseur shall, without hindrance, receive the fortifying elixir of caffeine essential to invigorate both body and mind. 2. **Right to Artisan Brews** It is declared that the essence of the sacred bean must be honored with the most refined and carefully crafted roasts, preserving the artistry of the brew. 3. **Right to Contemplative Solitude** In the act of imbibing our noble beverage, each individual shall be granted a moment of reflection and musings, just as our forebearers found inspiration in quiet contemplation. 4. **Right to a Haven for the Brew** Every person enshrined in the fellowship of coffee shall have access to a communal sanctuary—a quiet, untroubled space—to savor their cup in peace. 5. **Right to Equitable Espresso** No cup, regardless of its size, shall be allowed to deliver less than a robust and full-bodied taste; each espresso must be a testament to flavor and vigor. 6. **Right to the Midnight Macchiato** The passage of time shall not impede one’s entitlement to a macchiato. The clock is no tyrant over the hour when the bean calls. 7. **Right to Communal Conviviality** The assembly of kindred spirits sharing the sacred brew shall be a binding right, fostering fellowship, discourse, and the collective celebration of life’s simple pleasures. 8. **Right to the Registry of Richness** Let it be known that the measure of a brew’s quality may be expressed as \[ \text{Richness} \propto \text{Roast} \] whereby the magnitude of flavor correlates with the mastery of the roast. 9. **Right to Brew Self-Determination** Each individual holds the authority to determine the character of their own brew, free from the dictates of lesser tastes, ensuring that all methods of preparation remain sacrosanct. 10. **Right to Coffee Solace** In moments of tribulation, the humble cup of coffee shall serve as both a solace and a muse, a beacon of warmth and resilience against the adversities of life. By these declarations, we affirm that the rights bestowed upon us by our shared passion are inviolable. Let any transgression against these caffeinated liberties be met with the righteous fervor of a perfectly pulled espresso shot.